You smell like a monkey...

WC's comment to an earlier post about errors in a school district manual reminded me of a photo I saw about a year ago. A friend had taken a photos at a local school. In one of the classrooms, the teacher had posted all the students' birthdays on the wall. It was a very cheery and personable display. The title about the birthdays read, "OUR BIRTHDAY'S." Aaarrrgh! For those of you who are apostrophically (good one, huh?) challenged, here is the lesson for the day:

Apostrophes are not used to indicate plurality.

Apostrophes are used to show possession and in contractions.

(I can't think of any other uses right now. Can you?)

Consider the following examples:

• Jessica's birthday is in January.
• Jordan's birthday is in January.
• Their birthdays are in January.

My initial instinct was to call the school to point out the error, but I never did. I figured that the call taker would find me arrogant and rude, and the offending teacher would suffer embarrassment. Still, it haunts me that the students saw the error everyday and thought it was correct, since, after all, the teacher posted it.

I am led back to reactions to my BT blog. One blogger was insistent that it is rude to point out others' errors and it is best to be courteous and keep quiet - "unsolicited critique is rude." What do you think about this situation?

With all due respect...

I must correct an error that I am beginning to see more and more frequently. Two recent infractions come to mind - one in written correspondence from a Town of Bluffton staff member and one in a recent post to the Bluffton Today blogs. A BT blogger recently wrote, "With all do respect...." The correct wording is "with all due respect." "Do respect" makes no sense. I believe this common mistake is due to aural interpretation without really giving the words any thought. This type of misunderstanding is common in other expressions, to which we may give some thought at a later date. American Heritage Dictionary offers one definition of "due" as "In accord with right, convention, or courtesy; appropriate: due esteem; all due respect." Doesn't that make more sense now?

I knew it!

I knew I would commit at least one error as I was beginning this blog, thus the disclaimer at the end of the first post. Two points to GabrielDeafBlindPupFamily of the Bluffton Today blogs. She quickly spotted that I incorrectly typed "district." Shame on me. I could claim that it was a test, but I would be lying.

While we're talking about this word, I must mention one of my pet peeves. It really gets under my skin when people pronounce it "districk." There is a "t" at the end of the word.

My four eyes are watching!

I have a problem. I am a grammar-aholic and a punctuation priss. I cannot read a newspaper, magazine, or real estate sign without cringing in horror at misused apostrophes. I have been afflicted with this condition for many years and have finally decided to share it with the rest of you - partly just to get it off of my chest, and partly in hopes that I will find some sisters and brothers out there who share my pain.

Does anyone else out there care that a local publication frequently prints "its'" in its articles? "Its'" ain't a word, y'all! While I'm at it, yes, it's "y'all," not "ya'll." Try to remember back to second grade when you were first introduced to the magic of the contraction. Remember? The apostrophe "takes the place of" omitted letters.

• cannot = can't (' replaces no)
• I have = I've (' replaces ha)
• you all = y'all (' replaces ou)

(Sidebar: look up Mitch Hedberg. He has a great bit about how we talk in the South.)

So there is your first lesson. My plan for this blog is to point out daily errors in local publications and also to offer little lessons here and there. My goal is to alert those who write and print that these little things matter. Take responsibility for your commas! My four eyes are watching...

Disclaimer: I do not claim to be perfect, just more grammar/punctuation-aware than most others.